I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize