You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
