Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
