Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
