ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
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Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
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On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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