sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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