you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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