Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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