i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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