ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
