he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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