in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
