Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
