just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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