There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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