Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
PANTIES FOUND
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