Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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