I wish I could teleport
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
