Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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