she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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