you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
