If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
