Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
