Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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