I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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