Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
