Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
