I am puke
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
