my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
