he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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