therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
