he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I am full of burrito and curiosity
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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