who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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