is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize