Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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