matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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