your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
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All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
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I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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