he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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