Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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