Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
