Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How drunk are you?
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