I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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