I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
