Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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