You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
