Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You smell like stripper and shame
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Randomize
