You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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