No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
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It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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