Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
