Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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