is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
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