apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
