My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
