Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
