i jhust puked up my retainher.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
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I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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