my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Who did Billy Mays play for?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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