forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
