Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
