do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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