I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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