I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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