Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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