smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
