Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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