no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
