thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
