just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
