I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Acid is not a monday night drug
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
