your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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